…the clock is ticking and in just 5 days I’ll be embarking on the journey of my life. The life that I was so afraid to live for years. Afraid of what would happen if I really lived the way I wanted. Afraid of judgement and of failure.
In order to heal my eczema I read so many books over the least year like never before in my life. Books covering a wide range of topics around alternative medicine, meta- and quantum physics, psychology and spirituality and I can proudly say that in that year I have also learned more than ever before – useful stuff at last!
As a result of this I also started overthinking my whole way of living, my relationships – not only with the people I love but also with money and material stuff in general.
And as I’m writing these lines I am realising again, that without those darn bubbles on my hands I would not have done any of this. I would have likely kept working in some corporate job until my late 60’s and done all the other stuff society expects me to do in order to appear “normal”.
I can therefore only be grateful that it finally woke me up from the trance I was in and I actually stopped calling it a “disease” quite a while ago. I rather see it as a gift and a guide now. A guide who told me that I have sinned long enough. And no, I don’t mean sin in a biblical sense – sin is actually a term that comes from archery and means “missing the target”. Actually, the whole concept of heaven and hell happens right here in our everyday life and is nothing but the results of our decisions.
If I decide to keep myself in a job I have no passion for and just go there for the money, I sin and therefore create hell on earth for myself. Because that’s what sinners do – they go to hell.
The only sin there is, is to go against one’s own nature and in order to stop being a sinner, one has to get to know their real self, their nature.
So instead of wishing the dermatitis away, I started listening to it and it really is talking to me… No, it’s actually screaming right in my face:
“GET THE FUCK OFF YOUR ARSE AND START LIVING!”
That seems like a clear enough message to me, so who am I to say no..?
This coming Monday I will be going on the journey of my life, blow up the bridges behind me and re-invent myself!
I’ll finally be doing what I wanted to do for years and am not afraid anymore.
Starting off in Peru with a 3 week ayahuasca retreat in the Amazon jungle, followed by a visit to Macchu Picchu and then I’ll keep backpacking in South America as long as my money lasts, optimally trying to reach the Native World Project at Tambaba Beach in the North-East of Brazil without flying.
Stay tuned for plenty of reports, pics and videos!