After my last post I have been asked how one can find what they are passionate about and whether or not I have already found it.
Honestly, no. I haven’t. There obviously are things I enjoy doing but at this right moment I just could not tell, because there are currently too many obstacles clouding my judgement. I am a lot closer to the truth though, than last year when I started all this.
Everyone has to find their own way, their own truth, but I think the best way to find out what you love if your judgement is clouded is to start by eliminating things from your life that do not serve you. Your office job at a multinational corporation for example. There is no need to justify your decisions to anybody but yourself. If it makes you feel miserable, get rid of it!
Even if you tried to justify to others, chances are that they wouldn’t have a clue what you’re on about, as much as you probably don’t understand why anybody would get any pleasure from cleaning their house 2 times every day.
In a very watered-down way, life is a simple energy-in vs. energy-out equation and what energises you is no one else’s business, as long as it does not affect them in a negative way.
If you get some insane pleasure from sexual practises that others may find absurd, then that’s your thing – it still needs to be consensual, though, so leave the sheep alone!
Go and volunteer at the animal shelter if you want – nobody else needs to understand why you like to clean up kitty diarrhoea.
Some things energise you and others just wear you out and those things are different for each and every one of us. If I am in a great mood every morning and it instantly vanishes as I set foot into the office, then I can safely assume that I was not made to be there. Like this you have to decide for each activity in your life whether it is beneficial for you or not.
I have lost count how often I heard the phrase: “You should have children, you know. They give you a lot of strength”
No! Fuck off! They don’t! They might do that for you but the last thing I need right now is a little human, undoubtedly requiring even more of the life force I currently don’t have myself. So please keep your one-size-fits-all life advice to yourself, because such thing simply does not exist.
Since it is very unlikely that one can eliminate all energy-draining activity from their life, I believe that balance is key – especially since I got to know TCM.
Back in Spain for example, I had already realised that this kind of office work is not really my greatest passion and that it’s actually draining me of more energy that it provides but I had something very simple to balance it – having the amazing Andalusian weather and the pool at home could make me forget everything else and therefore providing me with the balance I needed. This is something I have failed to establish in Ireland so far and am currently working on solving.
If you are not yet ready to take as big a step as quitting your job, it obviously helps to start with little things and in order to do that it is beneficial to be conscious, be present, at all times. We do so many things on auto-pilot and don’t even realise how much energy we actually invest in them. I noticed that yesterday when I had a discussion with mum about a speeding ticket. It was absolutely clear to me that I would not be paying it. There is no victim, so no penalty justified – end of. And before I knew anything, I found myself googling ways to avoid paying that ticket, possible consequences of doing so and already imagined myself in court, telling the judge where he can stick his victimless crimes… And then I had the realisation, that sudden glimpse of consciousness and thought – What the actual fuck am I doing here? Are those 48 euros really worth the amount of energy I am investing here? Well, under different circumstances… maybe! But in my current situation most certainly not!
Get that damned thing paid for and focus on something that actually benefits you!
Thanks for reading and as always… TBC…