In late 2016, when I had the worst eczema outbreak so far and had already realised that my mental state was probably more the cause than the result of the disease, I went to seek for an acupuncturist.
For those unfamiliar with the concept of Chinese medicine, it is about seeing the body as an organic whole. In my case for example, the underlying cause of the eczema is being looked after, as opposed to our known western medicine where treatment is mostly limited to the affected body part.
Very soon I became familiar with things like the 5 elements system, its creation and control cycles and the circadian clock and it became clear that the underlying issue causing those disgusting bubbles on my hands is actually a digestive problem.
Without going into too much detail, my body is not properly disposing of all the waste when I go to the toilet (No apologies to thin skinners – this stuff is natural) and is therefore trying to detox through my hands, hence the liquid-filled bubbles.
I was never a very patient person but it made sense to me that something that I had suffered from for years now would not disappear overnight. It took its time to heal when I was a child and so it would do this time around. I would not go to a western GP and get some more poison pills or cortisone cream just to make me crap properly and at the first given chance the bubbles would return. No, this time I would do it properly and get rid of them once and for all.
The temptation was huge, because I wanted to get rid of those damned fuckin bubbles and just lead a normal life again, without having to wear rubber gloves when taking a shower or being unable to something on paper, because I could barely hold a pen with my inflamed hands…
I would keep living and closely watch when it comes and goes. It is now the end of June 2017 and seeing the results I had so far, absolutely worth the wait.
As I mentioned in Part 1, I had noticed that every time I was travelling my hands looked almost normal after only a couple of days and with my newly gained knowledge, I started taking a closer look when going to the bathroom.
In late May I had another little breakdown and had to clear my head, so I arranged to work remotely and went home to Germany. Again, after a few days my hands went back to almost normal and, back in the bathroom everything suddenly worked the way it’s supposed to be! This was the confirmation that the underlying issue was indeed some kind of digestive problem. The cause, however, was still unknown… Until the very next day, when I had to start working after 5 days of having fun with my friends and family. As soon as I had opened that laptop, it was a matter of hours until I noticed the first bubbles again. This continued over the next few weeks, always getting worse at work and magically disappearing when I was off for a long weekend visiting a festival.
I have to say that my job really isn’t that bad and the pay is good… But unfortunately that’s all it is… NOT BAD!
Now you will wonder how a “not so bad” job could make me physically sick – for that I have to get back to digestion and the 5 elements system. In Chinese medicine every organ does not only have an element (Fire, Earth, Metal, Water, Wood) but also an emotion attached to it. The large intestine is responsible for sorting out the waste that the body does not need anymore – on a physical, as well as on an emotional level and if it is unable to do that for whatever reason, the body will find another way. Et voila… bubbles.
As can be seen below, the lung, skin and large intestine are closely related and also associated with sadness and depression – 2 feelings I got to know pretty well over the last few years. Well, actually I was blown so badly out of balance after such a long time that it took a few months to even find out where the main imbalance was:
I had accumulated so much sadness and negativity that my body simply was not able to “digest” and get rid of what’s not useful to it anymore.
This became very clear to me when, in early May, I thought I’ll go a step further into alternative “medicine” and visited a local Reiki practicioner. After the 1 hour session not only my sore throat and my knee pain were gone – 2 things that I had not mentioned beforehand but was told that a lot of bad energy had left from those parts. I was also informed that a lot more bad energy would be leaving my body in the following days, and hell it did!
Shortly before the Reiki session I had felt a lot of sadness again and didn’t have much motivation to get on with my life. The day after, however, was one I will not forget for my remaining time on this planet… I literally cried (Yes, real tears and stuff) over little things and burst out in laughter over others – usually work-related stuff that would usually make me rather angry.
The first time I had cried “for no apparent reason” really felt like a truckload of bad energy had left me and, going back to digestion, I remember going to the bathroom at last 8 times that day. That’s what I call a proper detox.
The following 2 days I felt as great as never before during my entire time in Ireland (almost 4 years now). I could actually laugh at funny things, rather than getting annoyed at them like I would usually do and I even spoke to people at work who I would usually consider cunts.
And here we are now, back at work, back at my “not so bad job”. It pays well for what I’m doing, most colleagues are actually quite nice, I work regular Monday to Friday shifts and get along nicely with my manager. Trouble is, though, that I don’t want it. I don’t want to be “managed”, no matter by whom. I don’t want to sit in an open-plan office with another 100 people and as many PCs heating the place up on the same floor, 3 different aircon settings without walls in between and the windows shut all the time thanks to that one single person who always feels cold and therefore decides to sit in front of the window just to keep it closed. I do not want to invest almost 70% of my precious lifetime in something I’m not absolutely passionate about and that is proven to make me sick. And last but not least, I don’t want to work for a multinational corporation that stands for many things I do not agree with in this world.
There might be plenty of people who enjoy this kind of lifestyle, even though I can’t see how or why, but it surely isn’t for me and doing something you don’t really like for over 8 years (office jobs in general) is a long bloody time!
To bring this post to an end, I can only recommend anyone to follow their real passion and not just chase the money. Unless maybe, you enjoy torturing and killing other living beings – in that case you better get some fuckin therapy!
If there is something I’ve learned, then it’s that life is too short to do shit you don’t enjoy, but I know that it is not easy to break out of a vicious circle… It took me years to realise the madness I am living but unlike most West Ham supporters, I won’t be forever blowing bubbles…
To be continued…..